Be daring. Be brave. & Always be looking to expand your mind. There is nothing more exciting than the unknown!
Hi guys… Apologies for being rather quiet on here the past few weeks. I’ve been really busy working on something that I’m looking forward to sharing with you all – very soon. I’m still new to all this blogging malarkey, so it’s taking me a while to figure it out! Haha! Please, bear with me …. I’ll get there 🙂
Today’s blog is a little different to my others. It’s about something that helped push myself towards my goals & generally become a much happier person. I really feel that this little thing has quite simply – transformed my life.
Over the past six months, my life has become a whirlwind. A crazy, fun, exciting whirlwind! But, here’s the best part – I only changed one thing… My thoughts.
After leaving school, I never felt myself being naturally pulled towards a particular purpose.
People always asked ‘What do you do for a living?’ Or ‘What do you want to be (when you grow up)?’
This is something I have never had an answer to. – Can you relate?
Stuck in a Rut
I think not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, massively had an impact on my outlook of everything. I had no passion, desire or motivation to move forward because I had no idea what direction I wanted to move in. This quickly ended up taking over my whole life.
I always chose the safe option…. Because if it aint broke – Why fix it? Right?
I was quite happy plodding along, taking each day as it came and letting life pass by.
Fast forward six years and I am now a Mother to two beautiful boys. Of course, that is a job title in itself. However, I just couldn’t ignore the fact that being a ‘mum‘ really didn’t feel like my only purpose in life. I wanted more.
One day, last summer 2016. Everything changed.
I remember the exact moment it happened. I was down the beach on a summer’s day, chatting to a close friend about various things. She had mentioned numerous times over the years that I should try to get into modelling [I know *cringe*]. And often said I’d be great at writing a blog about parenting etc..
The fact I wrote cringe just then, is the exact reason why I’d been stuck at ground zero – I was just plodding along, not being brave enough to challenge myself. I needed to take a leap of Faith!
Her positive energy that day, honestly – completely changed the way I thought about everything. I had been so hung up on what other people thought about me; that it was stopping me from trying something new. Something that could potentially bring me great joy and happiness, & even more!
That night, I went home, created my first Facebook Page and signed up to a casting site. I didn’t tell anyone – but it was a start.
After a month, I’d applied to a few model castings. One day I received a phone call, I had been narrowed down to the final 30 girls in a National Modelling Competition.
Wow…. I was utterly, speechless. I’d been chosen out of thousands of girls to represent my area for the Miss English Rose 2016 Modelling Competition. First prize was £1000, and a modelling contract. Plus, an All Inclusive paid holiday to the Hard Rock Hotel in the Dominican Republic. This was to represent Britain in the Swimsuit USA World Final, alongside The Miss British Isles 2016 winner.
← Yeah… That was pretty much my reaction.
:O … How did my little thought in my head suddenly turn into something quite, well… real!?? At this point, I still hadn’t told anyone (except Snod – who was totally supportive). But I knew that would soon have to change if I was going to do this competition.
The first person I told was my friend that had given me the balls to go for it in the first place. I told her about the competition and that I had made a Facebook page… Her reaction was…
Oh my god…. Let me see! I’m going to share it for you!!!!
Then, I panicked… I suddenly got cold feet and thought.. ‘Shit, What have I done?’ This little secret I’d been keeping was about to be shared with the world. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for this’ I thought. Then, my friend said ‘I won’t share it if you don’t want me to’.
That was when I quite literally thought….. ‘Fuck it, why not?’ and ‘YOLO‘.
In that moment, I let all my worries go about what people would think. I thought, I am doing this for no one but ME. Who cares about anyone else?
I changed my attitude from ‘What if I make a fool of myself?’ – to – ‘This could be the start of something exciting, new and POSITIVE’. As soon as I began to focus on the reasons it could go right, everything began to go right.
A few weeks later, I travelled to Southport and competed against the 30 other girls in the final. After a long day of 3 different judging rounds, the judges made their decision.
& I came fourth! I was absolutely chuffed, having never done anything like it before.
Since then, I’ve had nothing but positive comments and feedback. And the more I’ve received, the more relaxed about it all I’ve become. I’m not embarrassed talking about modelling anymore. And since I’ve let my guard down, the doors seem to be opening with out me pushing or worrying anymore.
[ I honestly believe this is all down to that day I decided to basically… Stop giving a monkeys what anyone else thought].
As the months passed I soon began to feel that natural progression and pull again. However, this time in a different direction …
I have always had a passion for writing. However, I’ve never had a reason to really use it… Other than the occasional shopping list etc! After suddenly having to juggle even more in my life – Motherhood, work, photo shoots here and there on the side, the busyness in my life began to spread to my mind and I found myself again, wanting more!
I knew back in November that my New Years resolution for 2017 was going to be starting a journal. The weeks and months seemed to fly by so fast, it was impossible for me to remember all the important things that happened day-to-day. Not to mention milestones with the boys etc.
After thinking it through…. I decided why not start sharing parts of my journal with others? If writing down the crazy things that have happened over the days / weeks had been relieving stress within myself. Surely it could help other mums feel like they aren’t the only ones losing their shit daily? Plus, it would make me feel like I’m not the only one losing my shit daily!!!
And so, came the birth of The Onshore Mum!
Fast forward once more, & now just a couple of months in I am already beginning to feel that magnetic pull again. The more I push myself the more that seems to happen. I may have only written a few posts so far – but the feeling I get when I publish them is something I can’t explain.
I feel like, after 25 years on this earth… I’m finally beginning to see my purpose. I know what I want for my future… And because I have an end goal… I’m pushing myself everyday to achieve it. I never imagined a year ago I would be writing a blog but now I know it’s something I want to put a lot of time and energy into.
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. But your life is just that – YOUR LIFE.
Please don’t waste it by worrying what other people think.
So… If you can relate to any of this, I want you to try something.
Stop focusing on the negative things in your life. What do you love doing? What makes you smile? Whatever it is…